it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
