Please, let me fuck your mom
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I love you. Go after that dick
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
