I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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