You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
