I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
