Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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