her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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