never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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