Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
