Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
