Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
