Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Drake has all the answers
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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