well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
