Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
