I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
