I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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