I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
i need some magic done to my vagina
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
