I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
