I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
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