She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
