Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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