You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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