This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
