So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize