haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
