I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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