overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
