yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
