good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
