Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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