Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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