those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
