he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
And then my night got REAL pukey
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
