Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
my liver is dry heaving
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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