Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
