There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
