Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
