No, drunk sperm still make babies.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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