I wannas sexs uuuuu
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
