his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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