you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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