he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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