Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
