do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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