so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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