1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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