in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
