I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
