i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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