Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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