in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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